The Social Man and Dr. David Tian – The Desire System
Are you in touch with your emotions? Do you feel emotionally free? When you talk to women do they feel your emotions and are they affected by them?
David Tian’s new course is the most ambitious attempt to date to explore how to use your own emotions to improve your interactions with women and your ability to attract and connect with them on an intense level. In a nutshell, the course teaches you David’s model on transferring your emotional state to a woman so that she feels what you feel. He explores putting this into practice and troubleshooting internal issues that prevent you from doing it.
While David is not the first to attempt to harness the power of our emotions to seduce or better connect with women, he does position the course in a better, clearer, context and puts more emphasis on practicality and implementation. He is also more thorough.
The course has two parts. The first is “Desire”, which teaches you David’s model (also known as “emotional activation system”, and the how and why it works. The second part is “Lust” which covers “how to implement” it.
From the start of this course you get a feel for David’s own academic background (he’s a PhD and one time university lecturer – see bio) and knowledgeability about the research on the subject. Also, importantly, its limitations.
Throughout the course he provides academic and other references for you to follow up with in more detail if you desire. This goes from relatively easy to study videos from actors to far more in depth and technical Harvard based online courses.
You also see that he is well versed and has developed his insights from a wide variety of sources including pickup artists, dating coaches, relationship psychologists and actors. He often makes reference to sources in the course.
Some of the prominent ones being Russell Brand, Robert Greene’s Art of Seduction, Swinggcat‘s Real World Seduction, Erik von Markovik‘s Mystery Method, and Owen Cook‘s Blueprint Decoded.
Targeted at the Thinking Man. Not a Quick Fix Just to Get Girls.
Making no apologies for the depth of his approach and his exploration of it, David says himself several times during the course that if you aren’t interested in improving yourself and thinking through your life – this isn’t a method for you.
The nature of the course involves exploring and mastering your own emotions. For many men, this is not an easy or fun task. We all have emotional issues, insecurities, past regrets and anger. These are all issues that David explains will block your use of his system, so they need to be fixed. So the question you need to ask yourself is – are you ready to tackle these types of issues? Are you sufficiently emotionally aware – or more to the point – willing to become more emotionally aware to look at these aspects of your life and self?
The other reason that this is more targeted at the thinking man, or the man interested in self development and self improvement rather than “just attracting women” is that there is more emphasis on longer term goals.
Longer term goals, and maturity comes through in the course. David isn’t advising on a quick fix that will leave lots of issues smoldering within you, left to give you problems later. He targets working on these, and discusses how in fact, they are key to your future success in using his “desire system”.
The good news is that while the implementation may not be easy – in any sense of the word – it is focused on building a much more satisfying, fulfilling and happy life. In fact ‘happiness’ is something David refers to repeatedly throughout the course.
An Empowering and Realistic Approach
So something I liked very much about this course, is that David doesn’t avoid telling you what it takes for his system to work. This is a fault that many teachers have for fear that the ‘hard work’ will scare you off. Instead, by identifying specifically the areas of your life that will prevent the system from working he lays out exactly what your hard work will be to prepare to use his system effectively.
This makes for a much more ’empowering’ approach for teaching. By making sure you’re aware of when it’s not going to work and what you’ll have to do in preparation to get there – he keeps it real and realistic. This isn’t a quick fix system, for most men, some more than others, it’s going to take a lot of work. In fact the worse your past results with women, the more work you will likely have to put in to get results. It’s not fun to hear, but it’s realistic and will help you get to your end goal quicker by giving you that truth and defining the problems you’ll have to fix.
That is extremely valuable “truth” for you, right there. That many courses neglect to give you. David deserves recognition for this as it takes courage and integrity to tell students things they probably don’t want to hear.
To sum up. This course could have been more specifically named the “Emotional maturity program”. That’s part of the end goal, that will translate to the results with women and elsewhere in your life.
The Lust Section: All About Implementation Tools
Emotions is a really intangible and difficult subject. This course dedicates the largest part, named “Lust” to breaking down the processes, making it more manageable, more understandable and easy to apply.
Communicating emotions effectively is a big chunk of this implementation instruction.
Lust gives you a great approach and mindset for learning how to use the system. Specifically there is a lot of advice on “troubleshooting”. David breaks this into two parts. A) Identifying what is blocking you (your weaknesses), and B) fixing them.
A nice touch is that throughout Tian gives you very personal stories, sometimes embarrassing, to illustrate how he used the techniques to overcome the same issues in his life. This is very valuable to students to provide them with inspiration and to see that their mentor has been through the same challenges as them with details on how it was fixed.
In his own words, David Tian recognizes that this is not a one stop fix, but an approach to life and dating that is made easier with the correct mindsets: “It’s an easy struggle and there’s a contentment to it. I’m continually working on it myself.”
Bringing the Content Alive
If training is boring or too technical its really hard to study. There is an art to creating training courses that engage the user, thus making it easier to learn. Here also, the Desire System does well. A lot of material is brought in to bring the advice alive in entertaining ways. These include clips of videos (sometimes films, sometimes famous celebrities) or humorous references to celebrities or his own personal anecdotes.
David also performs a number of live demonstrations with his girlfriend at the time. These go from first meeting a girl in various scenarios to different emotional situations. Seeing these brings the points taught alive – and illustrates how the method can be straightforward to stop you overthinking implementation.
Leverages Existing Knowledge Effectively
For those of you that are well versed in dating advice, you’ll see familiar concepts dotted throughout the course.
As one example. There are many others. Some themes you may have seen in The Blueprint Decoded if you studied that course.
While it means the course isn’t completely original, I think this is a reality of dating advice today. After over 15 years of development, there is a lot of solid ground that has been made already. For a coach to come up with a completely original method that actually works is very unlikely at this stage.
Where the Desire System does add original value when using such concepts is how it simplifies their role and positions them within David’s emotional desire framework. It’s nicely connected together and keeps implementation simpler, will help people better understand even the familiar concepts and make better use of them.
Important. Fixing the De-Emotionalilized?
Some men that study dating advice encounter a plateau in their improvement which is that they have fallen out of touch with their emotions. That’s to say, they have moved to an extreme of control of and distancing from their emotions, which is now preventing them from connecting effectively with people. And women.
This occurs most often with men that have focused on some of the older ‘pickup artist’ originated methods that emphasized interactions in a technical manner and also put a lot of focus on ‘controlling interactions’.
This course could be very helpful for men suffering from this issue. As an approach, it moves in exactly the opposite direction, to let go of control of others, and your own emotions.
Frankly, it teaches you are more satisfactory approach to live your life. Rather than teaching you to control your fear by controlling situations, it teaches you to face fear and live with it. The fact is that you can never control 100% of what happens in the world or interactions, so this type of mindset is going to be a lot more effective in the long run.
Disconnected Content and Mindsets
Once you’ve been through the whole course, including the bonuses, you may feel that there is a bit of incoherence in some areas. I’ll point these out.
The concept of screening (which some of you may recognize as qualifying) is not effectively related to the rest of the emotional model. It kind of sticks out like a sore thumb.
- Is it useful and effective? Yes.
- Could some guys get confused how this fits into the overall approach and model of the system? Unfortunately, again, yes.
David could have spent more time in this area showing how it fits within his ’emotional activation system’ model. Instead what you’re likely to come away with is a refined model of screening women and its importance, but feeling like its something you do which doesn’t fit in with the rest.
The thing about this is – that it does fit with the rest. I just don’t think that it comes across very well to the viewer. So for those of you that buy this course – think a bit more about how to integrate this part into the overall model. It does work. And, of course, take advantage of the membership area to ask David questions about this.
The Q&A bonus is mostly about first time sex with women or ‘closing the deal and ‘s also a bit disjointed. It seems like it was filmed before the majority of training, and is less refined than the original course? As a result, at times it seems that David breaks one or two of his own rules from the emotional activation system. Now, I don’t think that David does. But i think it comes across that way, and as a result, is a poor training video that may detract away from the rest of the course.
The reason I see these points as a let down, is that it could lead some users to a bit of confusion over an otherwise very valuable system. Or even to doubt the mindsets given in the course – which are solid.
This could be cleared up by asking questions in the membership area, as with the above. However, it would be better tackled with a replacement Q&A video that David takes more care over teaching it through the context of his system.
UPDATE – Video Download and Audio Download Delivery Annoyances Fixed
While it wasn’t a deal breaker, when this course first launched the video download speeds were poor and the videos didn’t run smoothly.
This was a scaling issue of the technology infrastructure due to the course being popular quickly after its launch.
In January 2013 The Social Man fixed this issue with a technology upgrade, and the videos and audios now all play and download lightning fast (in fact faster than any other online membership sites I’ve seen).
Lustworthy Sex Bonus Video with Christian Hudson
This video of Christian Hudson of around 70 minutes duration is a highlight of the course for men in relationships. So it’s worth a specification mention, and is not to be missed.
There is a ton of highly practical, mature advice on bringing your emotions into your sex life. Some of the outstanding advice includes a “Template for Sex Talk” which I know many men have difficulties with – and as a result avoid. This really couldn’t be made easier for you – so there will be no excuse to avoid it in future. Sex talk is an essential aspect of relationship and sex development.
This bonus is also a perfect fit for the rest of the course. It demonstrates the importance of David’s emotional techniques in the bedroom and relationships – well beyond the stage of attracting women, which the Desire and Lust video trainings in the course focus on.
The Bottom Line
This is a thorough, emotionally mature and effective system for attracting women and improving the quality of your relationships – with women, and in general in life.
It’s most appropriate for men who are prepared to put in a lot of effort to transform their dating life and how they experience it and who are interested in self improvement and growth in general. Intellectually minded people will connect with this course the most deeply. For this reason, I think this is a great course either for a beginner who is intellectual, or for an advanced student who wants to specifically improve his emotional impact with women and people in general.
A situation where I’d strongly recommend you consider this course: If you feel de-emotionalized, unconnected with women (and others) and have constant problems with ‘dissatisfaction in relationships’, or relationships not lasting more than a few months. You need to tackle your emotions, free them up and bring them into your life and dating – this course has a lot of material to help with this.